WHY?

It’s like static water that’s all of a sudden moving down stream and getting ready for the waterfall…. anticipation that feels so intense that all I can do is smile and trust the process……. I wish too that I could explain logically to myself why I need to go do this thing…. why hiking and walking and just being is a thing…….

I have always loved nature. Ever since I was young, all I remember is playing in the woods. I built forts and tree houses with my brother, spent endless summers exploring the woods and areas by the Arkansas River where I grew up. Heck I remember my dad hiding his tools because we would take off with them to the woods and build our tree houses. I lost endless hammers, you can ask my dad, then years later we found an old hammer in the woods! I loved being outside. I enjoyed hearing the true silence in nature, as we so infrequently hear now a days with all the hustle and bustle! I can remember going deep into the woods as a child and convincing my friends to keep going, to see what was around the bend. …

When I was in high school ( almost 20 yrs ago!) there was a summer trip that you could apply to go on that you would get to go backpacking for two weeks in Colorado and so I wrote an essay explaining why it was important for me to go on this trip and how much I loved being in nature and that it would be good for my soul! I received a lovely scholarship to attend the trip and I did just so! It was epic and it opened up something inside of me that I just couldn’t resist. I couldn’t resit the nights full of stars, the adrenaline of being far out in the wild, the intense feelings of being so present in my body, the empowerment I felt as I hiked my way up the mountains and the closer I got to the sky! It was a renewal of my spirit, showing me just how little and precious I was on this earth, allowing me to question my own immortality while feeling so alive.

I adventured and I wandered.

Some fun little background facts about me………When I was 20 I traveled with my best friend Lydia to all the National Parks west of Arkansas and we drove 9,000 miles in six weeks in her mom’s car. It was very silly as we traveled the entire time in costumes and went by the names “ Buffy” and “Sissy.” And then a few years later in 2003 I hiked the Camino de Santiago in Spain with my best friend Mimi ( wow!!), and then to note, the Napoli Coast trail in Kauai with my partner Josh in 2015. Being outside and in nature is a go to for me.

I just can’t stay away!

I have wanted to hike the Appalachian Trail since I first heard about it when I was 19 years old and I was in awe…. like “ how is that possible to hike all that way?” I remember telling my mom and her thinking it was a wild but adventuresome idea but I got the feeling that she would be constantly worrying about me and I really didn’t want that for her.

All these years later… fast forward, I am 35 years old, my mom passed away in 2016 when I was 33 and it was a beautiful experience and also extremely hectic , things fell apart, my family fell apart and I did everything I could do to keep it together and not fall apart. I processed and felt it all so deeply and at the same time the universe and all the things were moving forward and time wasn’t standing still and earth didn’t feel the same.

I didn’t feel the same.

Now it’s 2019 and I have wrapped myself up in work over the past few years and being a nurse and taking care of everyone. And of course at work is where I met a co-worker who had told me her plans to hike the trail starting in March 2019 and then it hit me and the thought wouldn’t go away! I thought about it for several months and then decided that things had aligned, a break from work was needed and I began to visualize myself on the trail and pull to make it happen. We meet up in Atlanta this next week to begin our hike.

I figured it was only right and true to me that I take some time for myself and give back to me. I am just ready for an adventure, a life changing experience, a sense of renewal, rawness with myself. I want to spend time just thinking about the dirt, the trees, the rain ( the rain, the rain….), seeing the seasons change while walking through it, the sky, the stars, the moss, the whatever! I just want to be me with my thoughts, for things to slow down, simplify, and to be present in the moments with myself and I think nature is one great catalyst for these things!

I am grateful to even get the opportunity to explore, to use my legs, to breathe the air, to be present and mindful, to feel my heart beat.

Hand on heart.

As the hours near, and the minutes inch closer to go time, I am honored to feel so reflective and nostalgic about what lies ahead. I might have some JOMO ( Joy of missing out..) but in what context?

Ultimately I am looking forward to hugging trees, singing my song, and walking through the green tunnel JUST BECAUSE!

We are here NOW.

Now is the time!

Let’s do this!